Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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