Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
