I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize