my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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