I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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