Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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