She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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