3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
