Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
