omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize