Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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