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I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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