i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
