Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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