thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize