brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize