just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
