Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
