So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
