How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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