five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
