The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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