You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
