she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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