Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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