i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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