RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
