what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He passed out mid-signature
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
