is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
