I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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