I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
