I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
