In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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