U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
