Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize