All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
