Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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