Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
