my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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