Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
