i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You pole danced in your parka.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize