He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
