I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
North Korea, Best Korea!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
