so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm gonna fight the coyote
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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