So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
