school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize