You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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