Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
