Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
