I'm really into asian looking animals
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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