That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
God, you're like boner-b-gone
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize