I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
