so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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