perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I think I just sharted jello shots
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
