so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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