I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
