she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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