I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
