1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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