How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
