u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
