If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
two words: eviction party
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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