guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
