so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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